Nitro Video Rating:
PURCHASE THE DVD: Crystal Force 2: Dark Angel (1992)

While the original Crystal Force may very well be one of the campiest and goofiest movies ever produced (and thus, a ton-of-fun to watch on beer-and-pizza night), its in-name-only sequel Crystal Force 2: Dark Angel is a shot-on-video disaster that is so bad it stays bad and never, ever will get better. Ever. No really, it won’t.

Starring a bunch of hungry LA actor-types clearly looking to get their names on ANYTHING, this no-budget “thriller” finds an average Joe bartender pining away for a waitress named Alison (fetching lass Betsy Gardner) with whom he works. While some guys would be able to muster up the courage to finally ask out a gal who's throwing out signs like Nolan Ryan fastballs, our bartender friend clearly needs to sell his soul to get a date. Enter a rather poof-ish and supposedly debonair Cassanova named Virgil who summons dark powers to help the bartender get his girl. In between all of this, Virgil eats a rat, bangs the other waitress at the pub (go-getter Gloria Lusiak, and plays poker for our wishy-washy bartender’s soul. Dumb as all get out and rife with bad dialogue, inept camerawork and lame acting, if you’re unfortunate enough to cross paths with this flick, do be sure to look forNicole Dunn and Stephina as the wet-t-shirt girls at the “Bar from Hell.”